​As a former foster youth, you may have been thrust into the world of adulthood without being adequately prepared for the financial challenges that come with it. While there are many aspects to consider when planning your own budget, the good news is that you can create an effective budget with little knowledge. In this blog post, we’ll be discussing how to create a basic personal budget so that you can get on track financially and move forward in life. 

Start Tracking Your Income and Expenses 
Knowing where your money is coming from and where it is going each month is essential for creating any type of budget. To do this, start by listing out all of your income sources (such as wages from work or government benefits). Then create a list of all your expenses (rent/mortgage payments, food costs, transportation costs etc.). Make sure to include both fixed (those that stay the same every month) and variable expenses (those that change every month) like utilities and entertainment costs respectively. Once you have determined how much money is coming in and going out each month you can begin setting up your budget accordingly.  
 
Steps to Successful Budgeting

1. Determine your monthly income (how much you bring in each month). If it's not consistent every month, determine the average amount. 
   
   
2. Determine your expenses, and note which are necessary expenses (rent, utilities, food, medication, transportation, credit card minimum payments, etc.) and which are unnecessary (streaming services, non-necessary clothes, home decor, etc.). 
   
   
3. Calculate the total of all the necessary expenses. This is bear minimum amount you need to get by. 
   
   
4. If your necessary expenses (amount in step 3) are more than your income (amount in step 1), you need to do at least one of the below: 
   
   a) Cut costs. Can you live in a less expensive home/apartment? Can you take the bus instead of needing a car? Can you use less electricity to keep your utilities low? Can you get a roommate to share rent with?
   
   b) Increase your income. Get a second job, take on more shifts at your current job, negotiate a raise. Consider if you own any items you would be willing to sell.  
   
   c) Look for community resources. You may qualify for community programs like SNAP (formerly food stamps). You may also be able to visit local food pantries and clothing closets. As former foster youth, you may qualify for other programs in your community. Search Google for "former foster youth + Your city" to see what programs are available in your area. Take advantage of these programs! They exist to help you!  
   
   
5. If you're necessary expenses are less than your income, congrats! Determine how much money you have left after "necessary" items. Put away at least half of your left-over money in savings. Your goal should be to save up enough money to cover 3-6 months of expenses as quickly as possible. You should use at least 25-40% of the left-over amount to pay off debt as quickly as possible, starting with the debt that has the highest interest rate. 
   
   
6. Once you've determined how much you'll save and put towards paying off debt each month, you can determine which of your "unnecessary" items you can and would like to add back in. Remember, even if you can't add them all or any of them in now, with some work, you may be able to down the road. You may determine you'd like to use all of the remaining money into savings and paying off debt, which is really smart! But I also remember being a young adult, and realize that having a little bit of money to spend on fun things helps to keep you motivated to keep saving. 
   
   
7. Once you've saved enough for 3-6 months of expenses and paid off your debt, you can set up other financial goals like saving for a vacation or for a new home! Do NOT be discouraged if it takes you a while to get to this point -- if you stay focused and on track, you can get here!

Tips: 

• Avoid taking on any new credit cards or loans (especially short-term loans) if at all possible. These have the tendency to have big interest rates that will push you further into debt. 
• Make friends with people who are also on a budget. You'll know that they have similar goals to you and you can help each other stay on track. 
• Find a budgeting mentor. This is likely someone at least a bit older than you who has reached some of the financial goals you see for yourself. It may feel strange to ask them, but they would likely feel honored that you would value their thoughts. 
• Watch out for things that are illegal. As a foster youth, people may target you to do jobs or participate in something that isn't legal. Remember the old adage "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is".  While it may sound like a quick way to make money, it will likely cost you down the road through big fines, legal fees, etc. If the job involves sex, betting, drugs or taking money from others, it is probably illegal and to be safe, you should avoid it. 

Creating a basic personal budget does take some discipline and dedication, but it is possible! With some careful planning and consistent tracking of income and expenses, former foster youth can set themselves up for success financially despite having limited resources available at their disposal! So don’t be discouraged—take those first steps today towards setting yourself up financially for life! You won’t regret it! Good luck!

As a former foster youth, it can be hard to know what a healthy relationship looks like if you were never or rarely exposed to one as a child. You do not have to be embarrassed by this, instead, you can use this as an opportunity to learn and grow. 

A healthy relationship is built on the foundation of trust, respect, and communication. These three pillars are the key to any successful relationship – whether it is a romantic partnership or a friendship. We’re going to unpack each of these areas and give some tips for nurturing them in your relationships. 

Trust is essential in any relationship because it allows you to feel safe and secure, knowing that your partner has your best interests at heart. Trust also allows you to be vulnerable without fear of judgment or criticism. To build trust in your relationships, it’s important to be honest with each other and follow through on promises you make. It’s also important to find ways to show that you value the relationship by spending quality time together and creating meaningful memories. 

Respect is another important aspect of any healthy relationship. Respect means valuing each other’s opinions, listening without judgment, showing empathy, and understanding when someone needs space. When respect exists in a relationship, both partners can express their true selves openly and honestly without fear of being judged or rejected. To nurture respect within a relationship, it’s important to take responsibility for mistakes instead of pointing fingers or making excuses. It’s also helpful to practice active listening by giving your full attention when someone speaks, even if you don’t agree with what they have to say. 
  
Communication is key for maintaining healthy relationships because it allows both partners to understand each other better and resolve conflicts peacefully. Good communication involves finding the right balance between talking about yourself and actively listening to the other person without interruption or distraction. To improve communication within relationships, try using “I statements” like “I feel…” rather than accusatory language like “You always…” This helps keep conversations productive instead of argumentative while allowing both partners an equal voice in expressing themselves. 
  

Relationships require effort from both parties in order to be successful and fulfilling over time – but if you focus on building trust, respect, and strong communication skills within your relationships, chances are they will stand the test of time! If you need help getting started on this journey towards healthier relationships, talking with an experienced therapist can be an excellent way to gain insight into how these principles apply specifically to your life and learn how best to implement them into your own partnerships!
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Being in foster care can be a traumatic experience. Even if you have or had amazing foster parents or never faced abuse... even if you were only in foster care for one week, you still underwent separation from your biological family and that is trauma.  Many former foster youth report feeling overwhelmed, scared, and confused about their experiences. It is important to remember that it is normal to feel these emotions and that there are ways to cope with the trauma of foster care. 

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings 
The first step in coping with the trauma of foster care is to acknowledge your feelings. (If you need help figuring out what you're feeling, click here for a feeling wheel that I find helpful!) It’s important to recognize that you have experienced something difficult and that it’s okay for you to feel whatever emotions come up for you. When you can accept your feelings without judgement or criticism, it becomes easier to process them and work through them. 

2. Identify People You Trust 
It can be incredibly helpful to reach out to people who you trust when dealing with trauma from foster care. These people could be biological or foster family members, friends, or professionals such as counselors or therapists (get a free week of virtual therapy with BetterHelp here). It is important to have a support system who will listen without judgement, who you feel safe around, and who can help guide you through your healing journey. Talking about your experiences can also help you gain insight into how your trauma may be impacting your life now so that you can start taking steps towards recovery. 

3. Practice Self-Care 
Self-care is an important part of coping with the trauma of foster care. Taking time each day for activities like exercise, yoga, meditation, journaling, or connecting with nature can help reduce stress and anxiety levels while also promoting feelings of calmness and relaxation. Additionally, engaging in creative activities like drawing or painting can provide an outlet for self-expression while helping to manage difficult emotions like anger or sadness. Taking good care of yourself will allow you to better cope with the trauma of foster care and move forward on your healing journey. 

4. Avoid Doing Things that Harm You
Negative feelings, like those that stem from trauma, tend to make people do things that make them feel good in the moment but aren't good for them long-term. This includes eating disorders, addictions (like gambling, drugs, alcohol or sex), over-spending, and lacking healthy boundaries in relationships or work. If you are doing any of these things now, remind yourself that they may be hindering the real coping that needs to happen around your trauma. Make a plan -- with a counselor, if at all possible -- to stop. Moving forward, you can ask yourself, "does this help or hurt me?" and if the answer is hurt, you know now you don't need to participate in it. 

5. Remind Yourself that You Deserve Love and Joy 
Find people who truly love you and have your best interests at heart and look for moments of true joy throughout your day. You may not have had love and joy growing up (which wasn't fair to you!), but don't let that make you believe you don't deserve it now. Say it now and if you need to, say it as a daily affirmation statement: "I deserve love and joy!" (But a note, don't let temporary happiness fool you for true joy.)


The trauma from being in foster care can be overwhelming and scary but there are ways to cope and heal from these experiences. While your story is unique, interestingly, each of the things on this list are things even non-foster youth have a hard time with.  So know, you are not alone in working through these things and it doesn't make you any less of a person because you aren't perfect at them.

By acknowledging your feelings, reaching out for support from people who you trust, and practicing self-care activities like exercise, journaling, and creative expression -you will be able to take steps towards recovery from the trauma of foster care so that you can live a healthy life filled with love and joy!
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