Between the paperwork, doctor visits, bio visits, CPS visits, and bonding needs, foster parents may find themselves regularly needing time away from work. Fortunately, there are laws in place to help protect working foster parents in the form of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). Read on to learn more about how this law can help you as a foster parent. 

(This information is not meant to take the place of legal advice. Please talk to a lawyer for full details on FMLA law and how it will impact you.)


What is FMLA?
The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993 provides workers with up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave during any 12-month period for certain family and medical reasons. These include caring for a family member with a serious health condition, bonding with a new child (bio, adopted or foster), or attending to certain military-related activities. The leave can be taken all at once or intermittently throughout the year. It is important to note that FMLA does not provide paid leave; however, your employer may provide some form of compensation during your time off.

Who Is Eligible for FMLA?
In order to be eligible for FMLA, you must meet the following criteria: You must have been employed by your current employer for at least 12 months before taking leave; you must have worked at least 1,250 hours in that same 12-month period; and you must work at a company that employs 50 or more employees within 75 miles of your worksite. To qualify as a foster parent, you must be taking leave to care for a child who is in an official foster care case with the state and you must be their primary guardian. If you meet these requirements, then you are eligible for FMLA protection.

How Does FMLA Help Foster Parents?
Foster parents are eligible for FMLA if they meet the criteria mentioned above. This means they can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year if needed without fear of retribution from their employer or termination from their job. This can be incredibly helpful when dealing with medical issues and visits that arise with foster children—the time off helps ease some of the stress of being a foster parent by providing job security during times when extra attention needs to be given elsewhere.  

How Do I Take Advantage of FMLA as a Foster Parent? 
Talk to your HR Department when you start the foster licensing process to ensure that you and they qualify (per the rules listed above). Find out what paperwork they request and the process they want you to go through to request the leave. After getting a placement, you will need to let your employer know about your request for leave as soon as is practicable; that likely means within one business day after getting a placement. Because this is a particularly busy time, it's best to pre-fill all requested paperwork as much as is possible and completely understand this process in advance. (The last thing you need during the first few days of a placement is more things to worry about.)

What do I need to consider when taking FMLA as a Foster Parent? 
In addition to the above, you'll likely want to look into what PTO, Sick Time, or other Paid Leave may be available to you. You'll also want to consider your budget during that time; often any stipends you get for fostering are slow to be paid at first. Add in the fact that you'll likely have many costs to get your placement settled alongside being unpaid through FMLA and you may find yourself in a difficult financial place if you didn't plan well.  Finally, you'll also want to consider your healthcare premium or other items that come out of your paycheck as you'll need to plan to pay these items back upon your return to work. 


Being a foster parent is an incredibly rewarding experience but it comes with its own set of challenges as well, especially as a working foster parent. Knowing that there are laws such as the Family and Medical Leave Act in place to help protect you during those challenging times can make things just a bit easier—and so can knowing what exactly is covered by this law! Now that you understand more about FMLA, hopefully you can rest assured that if something comes up on your journey as a foster parent, there’s an option out there ready to help make things just a little bit easier!

When we first considered becoming foster parents, I joined foster Facebook groups to learn everything I could about the process. I quickly noticed that many foster families have a stay-at-home parent. I did worry a bit—my career is important to me and I wasn't really willing to give it up. Plus, it would not make financial sense for me to leave my job. Similarly, my husband had recently graduated with his Doctorate so he was also not at a point where he would be up for staying home full-time. So could we do it with two careers?
 
9 months in and the answer is yes! It is challenging, no doubt but it is feasible with some work. As much as I complain about being exhausted as a mom of a special needs foster son and a 2-year-old bio, working a full-time job, and having a husband, I also am constantly working to figure out how we can add one more kid to the mix :) 

Here are the things I would make sure you have in place before you foster with a full-time job.

1. A foster agency that offers “after-hours” trainings. It killed me that some of the agencies we looked at had trainings in the middle of the workday. It definitely immediately excluded them from our list.   


2. A good support system (paid and unpaid). Do you have friends or family that could help in a pinch, or if you’re really lucky enough, on a regular basis? We are so lucky that when we can’t take time off work, our parents will help with our kids. Next, are you able and willing to pay people (i.e., babysitters, cleaning services) to help you manage life? I highly suggest allotting some of the stipend to these services because it will help your sanity! (Note: Most agencies do require babysitters, paid or unpaid, to be background checked and have other trainings, so you’ll have to check what that looks like AND if your support system is willing to do that.) 
   
   
3. A plan for what to do when (not if) your foster kid is sick/at home. We learned this with our bio: kids in daycare/school get sick OFTEN! (And then pandemics are possible and everyone could be forced to stay home for months… but I don’t have PTSD about working from home with an infant, ha!) Will your manager allow you to work from home on those days and/or easily make up your hours later? Will you have to take that time as PTO/Sick Time/FMLA? If you don't have this flexibility, does your partner (if you have one)?
   
   
4. A plan for bonding during the initial days. Attachment is critical in any parent/child relationship, and even more so for kids who have experienced trauma. I would strongly recommend at least one parent taking 3-14 days off when you get a new placement to kick-start that bonding (and getting all the things done that are needed). Find out if your job offers paid parental leave and if they'll let you apply it to fostering; if not, if this needs to be PTO, FMLA, or something else. Beyond that, you'll have to be deliberate with your bonding time. Unfortunately (and fortunately) that means you can't just jump into a routine of school/daycare/work, then dinner, then baths, then sleep. Plan to spend as much family time together in the evening and weekends as is possible, especially in the first few weeks. Play games together, read books together, go to the park together--let them know you're there to protect and love them.
   
   
5. Childcare/School AND After-Care. If you're working full time, it will be even more crucial that you have a plan in place for childcare or school before you get a placement and that you're able to activate it quickly. One important thing to remember here is to pay attention to what time the childcare/school opens and closes. Especially with elementary-aged kids, you may have to figure out after-school care to bridge the gap between the time they get out of school and the time you get out of work.
   
   
6. A drop-off and pick-up plan. Without one dedicated person at home caring for the kids, it’s best to plan to tag team the crazy world that is dropping off and picking up your kids everyday. Especially if you have multiple kids in different schools, this could eat hours out of your week. Coordinate with everyone’s schedule, figure out if you can use school transportation services, and again, hire a babysitter if needed.
   
   
7. A supportive work team! This is crucial for everyone, but even more so for foster parents. I am so fortunate to have a boss who is CASA in his free time, so he understands the need for foster parents. And I am also so lucky to have coworkers who all have little ones and can easily empathize when I have a sick kid at home. I do my best to make up any time I miss because of my kids but I am so thankful to know they don’t resent me for not being available 24/7. I know it can sound drastic but I think this is so crucial that I would really suggest finding another job if you didn’t think your team would be supportive or would punish you for needing flexibility.
   
   
8. A plan for self-care. This is also something everyone needs but can be a bit harder to come by when you’re dealing with a career, kids (at least one who has experienced trauma) AND CPS, social worker and bio visits. Have a plan to take care of yourself, even for 20 minutes a day. You may have to put it on the backburner the first few weeks, but don’t let it go completely. Prioritize your health and wellbeing too. Get a free week of therapy here (affiliate link).
   
   
9. A plan to handle the guilt. Even with all of this in place, let me tell you, YOU WILL HAVE GUILT. Guilt that you're not spending enough time with your child. Guilt that you aren't being a "good enough" employee because you have to take time off. Guilt that you are sending your kids to daycare where they'll be exposed to every virus under the sun. Guilt that you don't have enough time to focus on progressing in your career. Guilt that you could likely help your foster child's progress more if you dedicated all your time to them. Unfortunately, this is all par for the course as a working parent. While I obviously haven't gotten rid of all my guilt, the biggest tip I have here is to be good at positive self talk: Tell yourself you're doing great things, maybe not perfectly, but great things none the less. And give yourself a lot of grace!
   
   
10. A plan for your most important relationships. If you're married or with a long-term partner, the two of you should talk through these items and acknowledge how stressful it will be, particularly in the beginning. You'll both be working full-time, with the kids the remaining time, AND trying to juggle all the extras that come with fostering and a new child... it can easily get overwhelming and lonely if you're not careful. Commit to doing it as a team, celebrate your "wins" together, plan to check-in with each other often and find babysitters who can give you a date night every once in a while. 

It is absolutely doable to foster while working full-time. It can be stressful without a doubt, but with some pre-planning, you'll be able to find the joys in your crazy life!