Serving as a foster parent isn’t for everyone—and that's okay! What can be for everyone is supporting foster families! Foster families need it, deserve it, and will likely welcome it. 
 
Here are ways you can help: 
 
Quick Support-For those what don't have much time to give but would still like to show support. 

• Drop encouraging words or be a listening ear. I love it when people genuinely just ask how it’s going. It helps me process what’s happening in my foster son's case and how I’m feeling about it. And just feels nice to know someone cares.
• Bring clothes for the foster placement. When someone has a biological baby, they usually have 9 months to buy things and often are gifted many items through baby showers, etc. But with fosters, who typically don’t come with many clothes or personal items and with little preparation (foster parents usually get a call that a child is coming that same day!), foster parents have to get all their clothes and necessities in the span of a week or two after the child is in their home. If you have clothes that will fit the child that you can drop off, or can pick up some things when you’re at the store, that would go a long way!  

 
Strong Support-Great for those who are close to the foster family but may have their own major responsibilities going on. 

• Bring a meal or create a meal train. The first few weeks of fostering are a bit like having a biological newborn, except in addition to adjusting to life with a new family member, foster parents are also dealing with paperwork, school enrollment, multiple mandatory doctor’s appointments, CPS visits, bio family visits, bonding and much more. If you can deliver a meal or groceries, great! If you can schedule a meal train for a few nights, even better.
• Get certified to babysit. It depends on the state, agency and situation, but typically, foster kids can’t supervised by just anyone. Often, the person who babysits has to be finger-printed, background-checked, and have passed a recent CPR test. This can take a bit of time before you even get to babysit but would show amazing support of the foster family in your life. (You’ll have to talk to the foster family about what their agency requires before getting started here). 
• Be “on-call” support. Telling a foster family you’re available for tasks when needed is like giving them gold. Help them build shelves for their foster's room, run an errand for them, help them do dishes or other quick jobs. 

 
All-In Support-Great for those who are retired or otherwise able to make a major investment in the foster family. 

• Serve as Respite Care. Being a foster parent is challenging to say the least. Respite care can be a huge help because it offers foster parents an overnight and/or multi-day break. While it often varies from state-to-state and agency-to-agency, to offer respite care, you typically have to undergo many of the same trainings and screenings that foster parents do. But imagine being able to jump in should the foster family need to go out of town for a family emergency (since they may not get CPS approval to take the child with short notice). Or just being there so that the foster parents could take a well-deserved, kid-free weekend. This point is also a great way to get your feet wet if you’re interested in fostering but aren't sure if you're fully ready to take it on yet. (As above, check with the foster family to see what would be required if you’re interested in this.)

Ultimately, the best way to help foster families is to talk to them. It may not work to ask "what can I do to help?", because many will probably say they don't need anything. But hopefully by listening to their situation, you'll be able to gather their true needs and can support them in a way that works for you. 

Thanks for being a part of a foster child's village! 

I knew the first few weeks/months of fostering were going to be challenging but I was still surprised by the reality: mandatory doctor appointments, forms, visits, school enrollment, not to mention trying to help everyone adjust--it all felt a bit overwhelming in that moment.

I've realized it doesn't actually have to feel that way if you know what steps you have to take and then just take it one step at a time. Here's the checklist I'll be using for our next placement. 
 
First 24 Hours

• Gather documentation and basic information. Make sure to get all the forms that show that you’re the child’s current guardian and are able to make medical and educational decisions for them. You’ll also want to get basic information about their history; If it’s their first time in foster care, you'll likely get minimal information.
• Enroll in school. Hopefully you have a good idea where you will send your placement to school. As a pre-step if you’re reading this before getting a placement, I’d suggest finding out what their enrollment process requires.
  • If you get a placement over the summer, or a child is not school-age and all adults in the house work, you’ll have to arrange for childcare. As a pre-step, you’ll definitely want to vet a few daycares.
• Schedule Required Doctor Appointments. In Texas, you’re required to have their first medical check-up within 3 days and a mental health check-up within 30. I don’t know if it’s required in every state but if it happens to not be, I would still do it to make sure someone with a medical background is checking on the child’s physical and mental health as soon as possible.
• Start learning about the child’s needs and work to bond. While CPS should, in theory, be conveying the child’s greatest needs to you at time of placement, much of what you’ll learn about the child will be from “on-the-job” training.
• Get critical clothes and school supplies. I honestly hate that on one of the most emotionally and physically exhausting days of my life, I was worried about clothes – but unfortunately, many fosters come with few, so it has to be on the list. If you can delegate this one, do it! 
• Try to help everyone in household adjust. Emphasis on “try”. Everyone, adults included, have had their world shaken a bit. Do something fun even just for an hour to remind everyone things are okay. 
• Accept help – particularly with meals!  

 
Day 2 & 3

• Attend all scheduled appointments/visits. Day 2-3 are filled with the “doing” – getting the child to all the places and in front of all the people you coordinated on day 1.
• Make dentist appointment. Don’t forget about this important health visit. It’s required in the first 30 days in Texas, but regardless of requirements, it’s another important one.  
• Learn who your child’s “team” is. Your child likely has investigators, case workers, social workers, lawyers, Court  Appointment Special Advocates, Guardian Ad Litem and maybe others who are advocating for them. If they haven’t introduced themselves, you may want to ask around to see how you can reach them. You’re going to be seeing them often! As you have time, you may also want to share the contacts amongst the others, i.e. Your CASA may not have your Ad Litem's number.   
• Find out about ongoing visitation schedules. Hopefully your child has visits scheduled with their biological family (as much as it can seem like an inconvenience or barrier in getting the child adjusted to your family, bio family visits ARE so important in foster care!). Get to know the schedule, where the visits will take place, and who will transport.
• Get medical referrals and call about additional medical services. Many foster placements require other services like Speech, Occupational, Physical, Play, etc. For us, I’ve found it takes about 5 phone calls to various agencies to find one that services our area and who takes Medicaid. Often, I have had to just put our name on a waitlist, but even more reason to call them as early as possible.
• Get more clothes and school supplies. Unfortunately, this seems never ending. You’ll likely need more than you could get on day one.
• Find out about your placement's likes and dislikes (i.e. foods, movies/shows, characters, music, colors, sports, activities). If your placement is verbal, hopefully they are willing to communicate the things that will make their transition easier. If they aren’t verbal, you may have to get creative or just resort to trial and error. Our current foster came to us mostly non-verbal, so we took him to the grocery store and let him point out things he liked – unfortunately, all we could get him to point out was chicken nuggets and waffles, but we stocked up!
• Keep working to help everyone adjust but don’t stress if everyone’s still struggling. At least in my experience, the first few weeks are tough. Try not to worry if you don't feel like everyone's meshing right away.

 
Day 4-7+

• Continue to attend visits and appointments. If you haven’t knocked out all the required visits you may still have some transporting to do. 
• Request special education meetings, as needed – If the child has any special educational needs, request a meeting with the school as soon as possible. Request it in writing to ensure you have a paper trail. 
• Gather additional documentation and history. If you can get your hands on the child’s social security number and medical/vaccine history, you’re doing really well!
• Continue to call about additional services.
• Get more clothes. 
• Continue helping to facilitate the adjustment. 
• Check-in with yourself. You may not have been able to do any self-care activities in week one, but now is the time to begin figuring them back into your schedule. 
  

 
The first week is filled with plenty to do, without a doubt. Fortunately, as paperwork and mandatory appointments slow down a bit, you then get to focus more on building routine and bonding—the good stuff.