Five Tips for Making Your (School-Age or Teen) Foster Child Feel at Home

Bringing a school-age or teen foster child into your home can be an exciting and rewarding experience. As a foster parent, it's important that you make your foster child feel comfortable in their new environment. That can be difficult given that you may know little about them before they come into your home, but with the right plan in place, it's feasible. 

1. Start with the Basics: Make sure that you have all of the basics taken care of before the foster child arrives, such as having enough beds, blankets, and other supplies on hand. While your agency will help confirm this during the home study, make sure the home is safe, clean and clutter free. Have food readily accessible. Ensure everyone in the home is as prepared as possible for the adjustment and is able to be welcoming to the new child. 
   
   
2. Get to Know The Child: Spend time getting to know your new foster child. Ask questions about their interests, friends, school experiences, hobbies, etc., and really listen to their answers. This will help build trust between the two of you and help them feel like they belong in the family unit.
   
   
3. Establish Routines: Having routines can be comforting for both adults and children; it gives everyone something familiar they can rely on day after day. Talk with your foster child about what kind of routine would work best for both of you—maybe it’s mealtime together every evening or an hour spent outside together every day after school—and then stick to it as much as possible so they always know what to expect when they come home from school or activities each day.
   
   
4. Offer Flexibility and Support: While establishing routines and communicating expectations is important, it's just as critical to offer flexibility to the child. They have left the life they knew, not by choice, and may have difficulty managing their emotions around it. Talk to them about how they are feeling about their new home (and validate those emotions). Ask them what they miss about their biological or prior foster home. Many foster kids can benefit from therapy, so help them get the support they need there as well. 
   
   
5. Give Them Control (Where Appropriate): Foster children lose control over almost all aspects of their life. Help them regain confidence by finding things they can safely control. Let them pick out decorations or items that make them feel at home in their room. Have them pick the dinner menu one day each week. Give them opportunities to pick the family activity once a month. While you may encourage them to participate in extra curricular activities, let them decide on the activity. 
   
   

Making a foster child feel welcome is an important step in providing a safe and nurturing environment for everyone involved in the fostering process – including yourself! By following these five tips for making your foster child feel comfortable, you'll create a warm atmosphere where everyone feels welcome and accepted no matter what may come up along the way!