​How to Handle Reactive Attachment Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Foster Children

Are you a foster parent trying to navigate a new diagnosis for your foster child? Whether that diagnosis is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), it can be hard to know where to start. Let’s break down the basics of these diagnoses, how they may manifest in your foster child, and what you can do as a foster parent to support them through this difficult time. 

Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder 
Reactive Attachment Disorder occurs when a child has not formed secure attachments with primary caregivers throughout their early development stages. This disorder manifests itself through difficulty forming relationships with adults, persistent sadness or withdrawal, difficulty regulating emotions, and difficulty expressing emotions appropriately. It can also present itself as aggressive behavior towards peers or adults. 

Understanding Oppositional Defiant Disorder 
Oppositional Defiant Disorder occurs when a child displays negative behaviors such as arguing with adults, being easily annoyed, blaming others for their own misbehavior, and having an overall negative attitude towards authority figures. A child with ODD may demonstrate frequent outbursts of anger or defiance when asked to do something they do not want to do. They may also have trouble understanding consequences for misbehavior or refusing to comply with rules set by adults. 

Supporting Your Foster Child 

1. First and foremost, follow your foster child's physician's directions and recommendations. 
2. Seek age-appropriate and trauma-informed therapies for the child. This may take time but be persistent to ensure the child gets the mental health support they need. 
3. Remain patient and supportive while working with your foster child. While this is challenging, it is key to not take the child's behavior as a personal attack on you. 
4. Maintain consistent rules and expectations. Keep rules simple. Consider writing or drawing a picture of key rules and expectations on a poster and hanging it in the child's room.  
5. Provide ample opportunities for positive reinforcement, especially when your child is successful in meeting expectations. Praise the child when they're doing the "right" thing, even if it feels minor to you. For instance, if they sit calmly for 30-seconds when that is something difficult for them, praise them. If they cover their mouth when they cough when that is something they don't normally do, praise them. 
6. Provide opportunities for bonding. While bonding activities may be difficult for children with RAD or ODD, doing them for a few minutes each day is crucial. 
7. Provide opportunities for easy and fun "wins" such as arts and crafts or outdoor activities. This can also help them build self-esteem and increase positive relationships between you and your foster child.
8. Provide them with the opportunity to talk about their feelings so that they feel comfortable expressing themselves in an open environment without fear of judgement or criticism from adults.
9. Consider Parent Coaching to receive customized guidance based on your child's unique challenges. Manatee has been an extremely helpful resources for my family and me. 
10. Finally, make sure to take care of yourself! Taking time for yourself will help reduce stress levels which will make it easier for you to provide support for your foster children during difficult times. As needed, seek therapy for yourself. BetterHelp is a great resources for virtual therapy from the comfort of your home.

Handling a foster child diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder can be challenging. By maintaining patience and consistency while setting clear expectations and providing ample opportunities for positive reinforcement, you can create an environment which allows your foster children the opportunity to thrive.  With proper guidance, patience and understanding from a caring adult figure like yourself, your foster children will have the best possible chance at succeeding despite any obstacles they may face due to their diagnoses!

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