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​Understanding Behaviors in Foster Children

11/27/2022

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If you’re a new foster parent, or considering becoming one, it can be helpful to know the possible behaviors that you may encounter. While each foster child is unique and will have their own perspectives and experiences, all foster kids have experienced the trauma of being separated from their biological family. It is important to remember that many of these behaviors are rooted in this and other trauma. 

Common Behaviors in Foster Children 
When caring for a foster child, there are some common behaviors you may notice. These behaviors may manifest differently based on the individual child’s age or level of maturity. Many of these behaviors are normal reactions to trauma; some of which include: 
  • Aggressive behavior (such as hitting, biting, kicking) 
  • Defiance or disobedience 
  • Difficulty sleeping or nightmares 
  • Difficult with food (including over-eating, hoarding food, and picky eating) 
  • Withdrawing from social interactions  
  • Regressive behavior (such as bedwetting or thumb sucking) 
  • Anxiety and fearfulness 

These behaviors in foster children are often rooted in attachment and trust issues.  It's likely that your foster child will need lots of reassurance from you that they can trust you and rely on your support before they begin to connect with you.  Remember, a child won't follow your directions just because you put a meal on the table and roof over their head; they first need to build trust and a bond with you. Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) is the gold-standard for building attachment with kids from hard places. 

Learn the TBRI IDEAL Response to deal with these tough behaviors. 

Behavioral Issues That Need Professional Attention  
While arguably all foster children could benefit from therapy in some form, there are some behavioral issues that likely need more intense support. These include:  
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)- when the individual has experienced severe trauma in their life and has intense flashbacks/nightmares related to the event(s) 
  • Anxiety disorders - when the individual feels overwhelming levels of anxiety or panic attacks 
  • Depression - when individuals experience prolonged periods of sadness and lack motivation
  • Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) - when individuals have difficulty communicating and interacting with others
  • Oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) - when children have an ongoing pattern of uncooperative behavior towards authority figures like parents/guardians or teachers  

If your foster child exhibits any signs related to these conditions, it is important to seek help from qualified medical professionals so they can receive the treatment they need.  


While caring for foster children can be challenging at times due to these behaviors, it can also be incredibly rewarding knowing that you are providing them with a safe environment where they can grow. As a foster parent, it is important to understand what typical behaviors may look like so that if any problems arise, you know how best to proceed with getting professional help for your foster child’s well-being.
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    I'm a foster mom, bio mom, working mom, special needs mom, busy mom. I'm also married to my high school sweetheart, I'm a proud 23-year childhood cancer survivor, and I'm passionate about serving my community.

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Welcome to Foster Mama! ​
​We are here to provide helpful tips and insight into the reality of fostering. Our information always strives to be child-centered and trauma-informed with an emphasis on connection. Our mission is to support and empower foster families to ensure all foster children have the opportunity to thrive. 
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